The Toddler Miracle Diet--This is hilarious!

Miles is so not into eating right now. In fact, he barely eats. We're always tring to get him to eat something and his reply is "I don't want to!" Don't worry we are not starving him. He must not be on a growth spurt right now. Some of he regular eatings are rocks, sand and toothpaste. Not kidding. He even has a fractured front tooth to prove that rocks are his favorite snack. It reminded me of an article that the pediatrician I used to work for handed out to parents when they were worried about their child not eating. I must share. Be prepared, if you have a toddler this will hit home for you.
The Toddler Miracle Diet
Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with
most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet),
or you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet), or you go broke
(the all-meat diet).

Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3
days, or go right back to stuffing their faces after it is all over.
Is there nothing you can do but give up and tell your friends you have
a gland problem? Or is there a slim (groan) hope?

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet!

Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that most
two-year-olds are trim. It came to me one day over a cup of black
coffee and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason. After
consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught
moms, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive,
offering great variety and sufficient quantity. Before embarking on
this diet, however, be sure to check with your doctor... otherwise you
might have to see him afterward. Good luck!

DAY ONE
-------
Breakfast
One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.
Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the
floor.
Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and
clothes.

Lunch
Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a
glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner
A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel.

Bedtime Snack
Toast piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO
-------
Breakfast
Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half
bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch
Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of
Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack
Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in
dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.
Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner
A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left
nostril. Pour iced tea over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE
---------
Breakfast
Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat with fingers, rub in
hair. Glass of milk: drink half, stuff pancakes in glass.
After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off
fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch
Three matches, peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several
bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner
Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips.


FINAL DAY
---------
Breakfast
A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an
olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add a
half-cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed
cereal to dog.

Lunch
Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that
sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner
A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on
plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

up on my soapbox

On Friday night we went to the girls school carnival. We were waiting for Maggie's turn to sing Karoke on stage with her friends. As we were waiting, a 3rd maybe 4th grade girl gets on stage and sings "I kissed a girl" by Katie Perry. I don't listen to this song, nor will I ever let my kids listen to it, but I have listened to it all the way through, so I'm very aware with what the song is all about. If you don't know, take it from me, it is not appropriate for a elementary child to be singing karoke to at a school function. Now, I was already upset that at the Summerlin easter egg hunt, they had a DJ and he had the nerve to play S & M by Rhianna. Another terrible song that is very inappropriate for children. So I was pretty fed up, and went up to the lady in charge of the karoke.--she was hired out, so she wasn't part of the PTA or anything. I said,"this song is totally inappropriate for a child to be singing or listening to!" She agreed with me, and said "I know, but that's what kids are listening to these days." I said, "not my kids! In fact, if this song ever comes on the radio, it is immediatly shut off!" THen I said, "do you know what this song is about?" I then explained it to her, and she said, "well that's what she wanted to sing and I asked her if her mother said it was ok and she said it was, so we have to let them sing it." I said, No you don't! I don't see any mothers signing wavers saying that it's ok for their children to be singing naughty songs." Then I said, "someone has to stand up for morals here, and you are the adult in charge and you have control over what songs are in your computer, and if you agree with me then this song should be removed or not allowed to be played at an elementary school function. She just kept agreeing with me, but I think I took her off guard. I said I was going to complain to the principle about it, and she said I should. She kept agreeing with me, but I don't think anyone has ever approached her about this before.
Now I don't want to be the mom that spoils all the fun for everyone else because I complained about something. e.g. Whomever complained about "God" being used in Schools and so now half the schools in the US won't to the pledge of Allegience. I'm not saying take the karoke away, I'm saying please play appropriate songs for children. There are plenty of fun hip hop, rock, songs that don't involve sex. So.....Owen says I need to be the PTA pres, I say no way. But I am going to write a letter to the Karoke company, and the Summerlin council regarding to type of music they play at family functions. Maybe a 3 year old wouldn't care, but I have a 10, and 8 year old who understand lyrics, and I don't want that kind of influence on them thank you very much! Now I'll get off my soapbox!

We're still in Vegas!

SO....these days, all I get from most people is "have you guys decided where you are moving to yet?" The answer is NO! Owen will grad in less than 2 months and no we don't have definite plans yet. We do have plan B though, and that is to stay in Vegas working for Absolute Dental--(Owen has been moonlighting for them through his residency)--until we find the fit we're looking for. I'm ok with it. Is it the ideal situation? No. But it works. It's good money, and it gives us a chance to explore a little more, and not settle for something we don't want. Owen on the other hand keeps pushing me to move to Yakima, but I hope he knows that deep down I wouldn't be happy there.
So, for now, we're here, we like it here, we're close to family, and maybe next year we'll take the big plunge and move to NC, or Georgia like we've talked about. By next year, he'll have been out of dental school 5 years and then he can get licensing in those states. Stay in Vegas permanantly? Never say Never right? But...we'll see.
Here are few past months happenings and then an update on each person.
Drew just finished t-ball which he loved! He did awesome too! He is still in tae-kwon-do though and loves his teacher Mr. Pino.





The kids went to this rediculous easter egg hunt that Summerlin hosted. That had a hunt for each age group. They basically dumped a rediculous amount of crap on the baseball field and then it was a free for all. My kids came home with so much crap that I told them I was going to write the Easter Bunny and tell him not to come this year. Thank goodness they had other activities there like a petting zoo, but I don't think we'll be going next year. What ever happened to hunting for hidden easter eggs? They threw stuff like cheese and crackers and fruit roll ups and hula hoops. To me, it was way too much for the kids--they don't need all that and Maggie even had her basket knocked over and some kids came and grabbed all her candy. Heck the older kids came with pillow cases! Greedy if you ask me! Miles petting the goat


Can you believe all this junk food?

WE went to Utah for Spring Break. Owen had to study for boards so it was just me and the gang. It was rainy and cold almost the whole time we were there, but we still had fun hanging out with Gammie and Maria and her kids. It's always fun to go home and go back to all those familiar places we used to go to. My kids enjoy it too since they lived there for a year. Took the kids with Maria to Classic Rollerskating. I hadn't been there since I skated in 5th grade with Adam Dayton to Careless Whisper!

ALways have to go to our favorite resturant Brick Oven!
It was a cold day at the zoo, but that meant the animals were active--can you believe how close this gorilla got to us?
We went to JCW's with Maria and her kids. I still can't believe Training Table was taken over by JCW's. training table will always be a childhood memory.

Kids in their Easter get up

Maggie is squinting in this picture. She had a red teary eyew which was VERY sensitive to light for over a month. We took her to the Dr. and they said it was just allergies. We finally took her to the opthamologist and she had a foreign body. She is better now, but she thought she had some kind of alien in her eye--I guess that's how a 10 year old percieves it when you tell her she has a foreign body in her eye.



A very windy and unusually cold Mothers Day. Woke up to everyone wanting to shower me with gifts, and then it turned into someone got their feeling hurt, kids were fighting about who got to sit where on the bed while I opened presents and then very irreverent children during Sacrament Meeting. And Miles was in the foyer! I'm talking about the 3 older ones! Who expects a perfect Mothers Day anyways?

Update:
Holly--still crazy as ever! I've been trying to lose weight and was doing awesome until Miles got a verbal warning from the gym that if he hits, pulls hair, or bites again, he'll be suspended for 30 days. Mortified, I've decided not to even risk it and try to work with him at home so he doesn't get permanently expelled. Can you believe this? I seriously don't know what to do with this kid. I know everyone tells me it's a phase, but we can't even have playdates, or make new friends at the park because he beats up on everyone who's smaller than him. So.....for now, he doesn't go, which means I don't work out like I used to. Occasionally, Owen will be home and I go, but I'm too tired by the evening, and not an early morning riser. But...I have to be. So that's my goal now--go to bed early, and wake up and go to the gym before Owen goes to work. I used to do it all the time when I live in Philly, so there's no reason I can't get going again. My problem is that I'm a night owl. Always have been . I like to stay up late and have quiet time to myself. I know if I go to bed, then I'll wake up and the madness will start all over again. I have to though. I miss working out so much!!! I miss body pump and running. come back to me please! We all know around this house that when mama doesn't work out, she aint happy!
Owen so professional!
---Trying to finish up grad work.--big paper coming up that's due, and just took boards which he was studying non-stop for. Going to NYC in a couple of weeks for the pedo conference where he'll be presenting his poster at.(you suck!) SO, SO jealous! Got to get me some NYC soon! I was going to go with him, but I want to have fun, not get dragged around to boring conferences all day. Soon, I hope. Last day of residency is June 30!
Maggie--Finishing up 4th grade this year. Loves, loves, loves her teacher Ms. Ponte! Star student, and always aiming to please. Student council this whole year and was selected for a candidate for the National Honor Society next year, but was VERY disappointed that she didn't get it. Only 2 from each 4th grade class were selected.
Audrey--cute as a button and easy going. Loves school and wakes up before anyone in this house! Loves her teacher Mr. Huff and is excited that he's moving to 3rd grade next year and wants him again! Who knew that she would like a man teacher? Owen just recently pinned her down to take out one of her teeth that was starting to look infected. We gave her ample time to get it out on her own, but she didn't comply and so don't mess with the dad that's a pedodontist! She was fuming mad and locked herself in her room for a while--but then got over it. Audrey and her friend Haley
Drew---Getting bored of being home with mom all day. Tempted to put him in full day kindergarten next year. It seems like everyone is, but it's an extra 325 a month, and I'm not sure I'm ready to have him gone all the time. He is my little buddy, and he and Miles are starting to play well together. But he's ready! He is reading a lot already.--books we're talking, not just words.
Miles--well, we all know what he's doing(read above) but I have to say, he's a little sweetheart too. He kisses all the time--I'm thinking I get about 25 kisses a day from this kid. He is starting to talk a lot and I love how he putters around the house making little motor boat sounds. He answers with a "what?" when called by name, and makes a slurping sound when he wants something tasty to eat. But....the last 3 weeks of church, we have been late. Why? he got into something RED 5 minutes before we were to leave for church. I think it was red crystal lite for 2 weeks and then red toothpaste last week. And it is everywhere! especially on him! oh, and last week it was also the whole tube of cream all over his body, in his hair and on the floor. oh, I'm so done with toddlers!
Here he is trying to plant a kiss on me. THis is a normal site at our home. He just gives random kisses. So loveable!

Can I back track a little?

Wow! I used to blog ALL THE TIME! I never seem to make the time anymore. I watch way too much tv and so I've decided that I need a wireless laptop so i can be on the computer and watch tv at the same time. Some good multi-tasking I say.
Valentines is never a big deal at our home. I do try to make the kids a valentine and give them a little candy, and something cute to go with it. Audrey couldn't believe that OWen and I were leaving for Reno on Valentines day. She thought we were bailing out on the hoilday and I quickly reminded her that us celebrating Valentines alone was perfect!


Owen and I drove 7 LONG hours to Reno to check out a practice. The drive from Vegas to Reno has got to be the longest drive ever! There is nothing except for 3 sleepy towns and I mean sleepy! I couldn't believe people existed here! The largest town was TOnopah and well this old motel sums up this city.
Reno was...well, lets just say I didn't get the warm and fuzzy vibes while I was there. Instead I was disappointed, and I even cried at the Fuddruckers. We left a day early and I think Owen was frusterated with me after that trip cause I made such a quick judgement about it. What can I say? It just wasn't where I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
Part 2--like Father like Son.
Drew has taken on Owen's green thumb. Here he is perfecting the art of bonsai! I think Owen was in heaven to see that his boy was interested in plants.


Part 3-Basketball
Maggie played on a city league this year. Her team was the lakers and she was 1 of 6 girls in the whole league. I would defenitly say she's was the most improved player. It was pretty painful in the beginning, but she caught on, and got so much better. She even scored a basket in one of the last games. Overall, she had a lot of fun and I'm glad that there are no more Saturday games since we are now in baseball season for Drew and are at the field every Sat morning.


Part 4--Miles
This kid is a busy body! He is into everything he shouldn't be into.--especially the computer button--turn on, turn off, turn on etc.--same thing with the printer. The gate doesn't work, he can tear it down. We have to keep all doors closed, or he will destroy the other kids rooms. And heaven for bid that he gets in the bathroom! He will destroy the carpet with green toothpaste and pink body wash in about 5 minutes. He gets in trouble at the gym day care and church nursery for hitting. He is a bully. I've seen him on many occasions just walk up to random children and wak them across the face for no reason. I swear we don't abuse him. He rarely gets a spankin. I think it's his survival mode at home being the youngest of 4. He loves to go on bike rides, and eat with his fireman hat on. That is when he eats. He rarely eats. ANd he loves to play in the sink. Anything water and he is there. He is the kissist child ever! He kisses me about 50 times a day--just randomly too. on the leg, the arm and the face, but his favorite is on the lips! Nothing says a good smooch like an almost 2 year old smackin you on the lips with a snotty nose! We love him! Last night we took the kids to see a movie and we left Miles with a sitter. Owen felt so bad neglecting him. It just isn't the same without Miles. Except at a movie--i would be the one wrestling with him--not OWen.




Part 4--Audrey
Smarty pants Audrey has recieved several awards this year. This was for the Principles award. Her teacher even sent me an email that said that she really deserved it! She is most of the time pretty pleasant and easy going. I'm sooooooo glad my kids are doing well in school.
Part 5--Drew
He just stared playing T-ball and loves it! I haven't taken any pics yet, but he was required to get a cup. He had the giggles about that one. He is READING! He is doing great! He can read Hop on Pop all by himself and is about to start GO DOg Go. He will be so ready for kindergarten. He is still my little sweetheart. He has a thing for me, and most of the time will do anything to make me happy. He is a great cleaner! Here he is at his preschool fieldtrip to petland with one of the birds on his shoulder.
Part 6--Disneyland
As it says above on the Valentine that we took the kids to Disneyland. And like we all haven't seen enough pics of Disney to last us a lifetime right? Well, too bad, it's my blog so I'm posting pics. But just a couple. We are lucky to have Owens parents live so close to Disney. They watched Miles for us on the first day while we went to California Adventure, and then we took him to the Land on the 2nd day. I think 2 parks 2 days in a row would have been too much for miles. Owen and I felt like yuppies without him. We had no stroller for the first time ever! It was actually kind of nice cause we just went from ride to ride. But theres something to be said about taking your sweet 22 month old on It's a small world. Priceless!




Part 7--Maggie turns 10!
Maggie celebrated her 10th birthday on March 9th! Can you believe it? 10 years? That is nuts! We said no parties this year, but we did kidnapp her from school and took her to lunch--just her. Owen met us down on the strip at Serendipity. It was a nice warm day and I think she enjoyed the fact that is was just her. She had a BLT and Owen and I shared our favorite turkey and Brie sandwich. Of course with the best sweet potatoe fries ever. Do you know what is Maggies favorite thing to eat? Sweet Potatoes with brown suger! And of course fried oreo sundae for dessert! Holy crap! The calories! That night we opened presents and had cupcakes. We love our Maggie! She is a beautiful, creative girl! Still as bossy as ever and is always writing plays, stories and trying to organize shows to perform. Still wants to be an actress when she grows up.







Above are some paper flowers I made to decorate the room for her birthday.
Last part ---Washington/Oregon
Here we are at some gorgeous falls near Seattle the day we flew in. I can't remember the name of them casue I was still drugged from taking 2 dramamine right before we flew. I was passed out all day--Owen couldn't revive me. But I do remember the falls were amazing!
Owen and I went to Yakima Washington for a job interview with the indian health service cor. It actually isn't a bad deal considering the loan repayment and extra ammenties you get with the job. The problem is living in Yakima. I guess I have just lived in too many big cities, that going to a small town would be difficult for me. I had a really hard time seeing myself there. It was pretty and all, but I guess I didn't get that warm fuzzy feeling there either. I think if our kids were younger, then it would be doable for a couple of years, but to get a lot of our loans payed back, we'd have to give 6 years and that would still leave us with 100k to pay. Maggie would be 16 by the time we were done, and I don't see myself packing up then. I think Yakima would end up being our home for--ever. And I just don't see that nor do I want that. I feel like we could do just as well somewhere we really want to be. (Still awaiting job situation in Denver) So we drove to the Oregon coast with the rest of our time and Man, I was so tempted to suck up the rain just so I could live there. Owen and I immediatly fell in love. That place is amazinly gorgeous! But....it did rain, and rain, and rain. That is why it is so gorgeous! i think it would be a great vacation spot. We stayed in Lincoln beach and our room overlooked the ocean. We were literally feet from the water. If there was a tsunami, we would be toast. At night we'd look out our window, and it was somewhat frighteneing to see the dark water that lay in front of us. The next day we drove all the way up the ORegon coast to Seattle to fly home. So, so beautiful! OWen was in heaven and said the beaches buried SOCALS beaches in a heartbeat. He was sold and was ready to pack up and move to one of these small beach towns. The best was Arcadia beach. ANd i was disappointed with Astoria. Thought it would be amazing like I remember from the movie "Kindergarten Cop", but it was kind of old and rundown. I think we'll vacation there in July or August though. March was a bit chilly.
This was the view from our room

This sign was encouraging after what just happened in Japan. Right?
This was right after a sneaker wave came and soaked me from the shins down. Little stinker wave.
Arcadia Beach